The Importance of having a Godly Mentor and How to Choose one

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The pitfalls of pride are many. What we have to lose when we refuse to submit to the authority of Christ is far greater than we could ever fathom. Everyone benefits from having a mentor. Especially as Christians, it is important to have a mentoring relationship to help you grow in your faith and every day walk with the Lord.

When I started to blog a year and a half ago, I was able to find a blogging mentor- Melanie Redd, who really encouraged me, and helped me grow in my blogging journey.

Today, I am thrilled to have Melanie write about the importance of having a Godly mentor, and how to find one.

Melanie will be answering the following questions to help us build a postive mentoring relationship.

  • Why is mentoring such a powerful thing?
  • Where do you find mentors?
  • How do you begin a mentoring relationship?

This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a small commission.

Why is mentoring such a powerful thing?

Mentoring is powerful because it is personal instruction, typically done one on one.

There is nothing sweeter than to have another person invest in your life because they choose to do so. Mentors encourage you, inspire you, push you, pull you, affirm you, and motivate you.

Everyone can benefit from mentoring no matter how old or how young they are.

In fact, mentoring is a biblical concept. In Titus 2, older men are encouraged to train the younger men and older women are told to train the younger women.

“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” (Titus 2:4-5, NLT)

Where do you find mentors?

Mentors can be found everywhere. There are positive, encouraging people around us all.

The best place to find a mentor is right where you are… in your current sphere of influence.

You may not have even realized who is right around you and how much you can benefit from knowing these people.

Your mentor may be older and wiser or younger and wiser.  Age is not near as important as character.

More than likely, God has placed some amazing people in your circles. They are nearby and available if you know who and what to look for.

So, how do you discover a mentor?

How do you begin a mentoring relationship?

To find a person to mentor you, I’ve got some suggestions.

And, I always think it works best if the one who wants to be mentored seeks out and chooses their own mentor.

Typically, it doesn’t work well for us to go to a younger or less experienced person and ask, “Can I mentor you? Or, would you like to be mentored?”

Here are some steps you can take to discover a great mentor:

1} Pray and ask God to give you at least one godly, positive mentor in your life.

You can always have more than one, but I believe we all need at least one person pouring into us and speaking encouragement into our lives.

Put this request at the top of your prayer list!

Ask the Lord for an incredible mentor!

2} Begin actively seeking a mentor.

Look around at work, at church, in your neighborhood, at school, or wherever you spend a great deal of time.

  • Who seems wise?
  • Who seems positive and compassionate?
  • Who seems to have great joy?
  • Who do you respect and admire?
  • Who seems to be interested in your life?
  • Who do you share some similar experiences with?

I have one young friend who actually walked around her church with a piece of paper in the front of her Bible.

When she would observe an older woman dealing well with her children, she’d jot down that name. When she saw a happy marriage, she would write down that name. From that list, God opened the door for her to have the most amazing group of mentors.

3} Invite that potential mentor to meet you for coffee or lunch.

You don’t even have to tell that you are hunting for a mentor.

Instead, you might say something like, “Would you have time to grab coffee with me? I’d love to have the chance to get to know you better.”

Then, get to know them to see if they might be a good mentor for you.

See if you have enough in common and relate well to each other. Ask lots of questions. Listen to how they respond. Determine if this is a person you’d like to hang out with on a regular basis.

Think of this as interviewing potential mentors!

(There is no harm in having 3-4 lunches or coffee dates to get to the best mentor.)

Check out this amazing planner from DaySpring and start planning your coffee dates with your mentor!


Illustrated Faith – For Such a Time as This – 2018 18-Month Agenda Planner

from: DaySpring Cards Inc

4} Once you KNOW you’d like to be mentored by a certain person, ask them to spend time with you on a regular basis.

Just go for it and stick it out there!

You can ask to meet once a month or once a week. It may feel awkward at first, but likely that other person will be greatly honored that you would ask them to mentor you.

Honestly, any time a woman has sought me out and asked me to mentor them, I’ve been blessed and so excited to be asked! I’ve NEVER turned down a sincere request to mentor another friend.

One other note

Some of you reading this may want to try a little concept I’ve heard referred to as “Reverse Mentoring.”

Instead of looking for someone older and wiser than you, this type of mentoring is different. Look for someone younger than you who has a skill you don’t possess.

For example, you might ask one of your children or grandchildren to teach you how to use Instagram. Or, you might ask a younger friend at work or at church to show you how to use the Internet or your new cell phone.

You might invite a younger blogger or social media expert to teach you some new tricks. You could ask a younger friend to teach you how to paint, do a certain craft, or learn some other skill.

Reverse Mentoring is extra sweet because it gives you the chance to humbly ask someone younger than you to show you how to do something you don’t know how to do.

You will learn, you will grow, and you will have the chance to encourage someone else.

And, you may open the door for this younger person to ask you some questions about life, about the Lord, or about other matters of the heart. This could turn into a mutual mentoring relationship!

So, what do you think about mentoring?
What experiences have you had?

Meet my blogging mentor

Melanie Redd:

Melanie is a Christian blogger, Motivational Speaker, Author, and Marketing and Social Media Consultant. She’s married to Randy and mom to two awesome college students. God’s grace never ceases to amaze her.

You can find out more about Melanie & her ministry at www.melanieredd.com.

You can connect with Melanie here:

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16 Comments

  • Valeire August 7, 2017 at 7:58 am

    Melanie, this is such a great guide with some great advice on how to find a mentor. I love your encouragement to seek out a mentor and invite them to coffee. Thank you for being such a Godly woman and example to so many! Love you!

    Reply
    • Melanie Redd August 7, 2017 at 9:06 am

      Thank you, Valerie!
      Your words are sweet to my soul this morning!
      I’m so thankful to have a friend like you!
      Love you much~
      Melanie

      Reply
  • Diana August 7, 2017 at 8:32 am

    I love these amazing tips ,Melanie! I have read your post so many times but never gathered up courage or probably my thoughts to say hello to you before today. My apologies!

    I really loved what you wrote -“typically it works best if the one who wants to be mentored reaches out to the mentor ”
    I tend to shy away and struggle on my own most of the time instead of reaching out myself.

    Thank you Sue for hosting Melanie – an amazing woman of God .

    Blessings to both of you,
    Diana

    Reply
    • Melanie Redd August 7, 2017 at 9:10 am

      Hey Diane,

      Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m so glad you were brave enough to write. I’m so glad you did!

      And, I want to encourage you to reach out to that older woman – you might be surprised that she’s been asking God for a younger woman to mentor! I’ve done this many times with older women, and it’s always been sweet.

      Also, I’ve NEVER had a younger woman reach out to me and not been so blessed by her willingness to step out. Being the older woman in someone’s life is a joy and a privilege!

      (So, I dare you to go for it – even if it feels completely awkward!)
      Hope you have a blessed day today~
      Melanie

      Reply
  • Melanie Redd August 7, 2017 at 9:11 am

    Thank you, Sue, for inviting me to share today!
    It’s a joy to partner in ministry with you.
    And, I’m blessed by you and by your friendship~
    Melanie

    Reply
  • Liz August 9, 2017 at 12:29 pm

    Awesome tips, Melanie! On most military bases there is an organization called Protestant Women of the Chapel. The board for this ministry wisely includes a position called Titus II. It is reserved for a more experienced, wiser woman to share her knowledge with the rest of the board. We have also had a mentorship program that matches pairs of women who enter into mentoring relationships within the body! It is a fantastic way to facilitate just what you’ve talked about here!

    Reply
    • Melanie Redd August 9, 2017 at 6:37 pm

      Thanks, Liz!
      And, I love the way the military does this. What a great program!
      Maybe churches need to model their programs after the military. Sounds like a fabulous program!
      Appreciate your comments and ideas today.
      Blessings to you,
      Melanie

      Reply
  • Lara d'Entremont August 9, 2017 at 12:35 pm

    Such a helpful and practical article on mentoring! I am so thankful that I humbly acknowledged my need to mentors in my life and opened up to the older women around me. Mentors are especially helpful in marriage. God has definitely blessed me with wonderful older women of the faith to teach, guide, encourage, and correct me.

    Thank you for the helpful article and words of wisdom!

    Reply
    • Melanie Redd August 9, 2017 at 6:38 pm

      Hey Lara,
      Thanks for sharing about how you opened up and asked some women to mentor you.
      And, I love hearing how God has sent you some older women to encourage you. What a blessing!
      Sure do appreciate your kind words today.
      Blessings to you,
      Melanie

      Reply
  • Tosin Moji August 9, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    I love mentorship. However, I’ve also had so called mentors spread personal stuff I’ve shared so now that interview process for me is extra strict.

    Reply
    • Melanie Redd August 9, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      Hey Tosin,
      Thanks for leaving a comment today.
      I’m so sorry that you’ve been hurt by some mentors. That can happen.
      However, I want to encourage you not to lose heart. There are some wonderful mentors out there who will keep your confidences.
      I pray that God will give you the courage to try again.
      Blessings to you,
      Melanie

      Reply
  • Tiffany August 10, 2017 at 8:17 am

    I love your perspective on this. I do actively seek our mentors, but I also pray for opportunities to pour into other women… I do not say “Would you let me mentor you?” but I do invite them to coffee and find intentional teachable moments… Wish our culture would go back to this. It would help in so many ways

    Reply
    • Melanie Redd September 8, 2017 at 2:57 pm

      Great idea, Tiffany! I love this way of approaching younger women.
      And, I am with you. I wish our culture and our churches focused more on this.
      The good news… women all around the world are starting to recognized and realize the benefits of mentoring.
      Hope you have a blessed day~
      Melanie

      Reply
  • Karen September 6, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    Thank you for this post. I am actually in the process of seeking out a mentor and these were very helpful tips

    Reply
    • Sue September 6, 2017 at 9:15 pm

      I’m so glad it was helpful! I pray you find the best mentor for your needs right now. Thank you for visiting!

      Reply
    • Melanie Redd September 8, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      Hey Karen,
      I’m so glad the tips were helpful!
      I pray that God will lead you to the perfect mentor~
      Blessings,
      Melanie

      Reply

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